Ah February. Love is in the air. Alas, the blissfulness of romance sometimes brings heartache! Here are some of the top relationship challenges people bring to therapy and Tarot sessions and some ways to address them like a pro. It’s all about communication, boundaries, and of course…love!
But the relationship was so perfect!
This statement repeats in the head of many worrying lovers. People talk of idyllic days, walking on the beach and sharing ice cream in bed. The first three to six months of a relationship is the magical time before people start to show their true colors. Check your expectations and how you are communicating them. Take an inventory and assess your role in the situation. If there are red flags - don’t wait for them to get any redder.
Honesty is needed - first with yourself and then with your partner.
I’ve lost interest in sex (or my partner has).
First, do not push yourself (or someone else) to have sex if the desire is lacking. But don’t keep letting it go either! You can relight those flames with some time and attention. People expect romance to happen instantaneously but this is not always true and that’s ok. Take the time to work on getting in the mood and reconnecting
with your sexy. What turns you on? Unleash those desires and share them with your partner. Work together to create a sexy life! It is easier to connect when you function as supportive partners all the time, not just when you want to get physical.
My partner’s mom (son, friend, and ex) is interfering with our relationship.
Each person in the relationship acts as the Gatekeeper for their own people. How are you doing at managing your gate? The relationship begins and ends with two people. Respectfully let your partner know how you feel and discuss together what might make things better. At the very least, create time and spaces that are strictly hands-off to anyone but you two.
My partner is great but sometimes they can be a real jerk. First, ask yourself if maybe you are being too sensitive. Next, check your boundaries. How do you handle it when they treat you badly? Do you make it clear that certain behavior is not acceptable? Do they recognize and take responsibility for their behavior? Everyone can be insensitive at times but a repeat offender may become toxic for you. Name calling and abusive behavior are never ok.
I am tired of cleaning up after my partner and it’s ruining our relationship!
This is an age-old problem and it applies to other things like finances. The best advice is to know your partner. If they are messy when you are dating, it is not likely to improve when you move in together. Set boundaries and stand by them consistently. Sometimes giving them one area (or room) for their mess can be helpful. Boundaries and realistic expectations are usually the best way to learn to coexist when you have lifestyle differences.
Does He/She/They Love Me?
You’ve been dating or spending time together for a while. But is it love? Worrying over signs of reassurance affects your behavior in negative ways. Instead, simply be yourself. Don’t spend all your time trying to be some version of yourself that you
think the other person wants. This will lead to regret and unhappiness. Confidence and
honesty are the sexiness qualities of all! If you want to know how they feel, ask them! True love shared is rare and beautiful. Enjoy it!